Tell her she can't have a vagina
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize