if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
