porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
