On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
