Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
