1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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