i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
wow bdsm is so cute
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
