Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize