so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
