Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
