Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she looked like the before picture.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
