booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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