Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
