I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
