I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
