i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
