once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
