i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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