you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
