is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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