she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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