So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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