i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize