Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize