Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we're so committed to being not committed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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