people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
