Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
