the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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