Little spoons don't ask big questions
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize