I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
