I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
