Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize