We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
