I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
