I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
