I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
