im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Terrible idea I love it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize