My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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