Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
