Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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