It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
