Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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