Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
