i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
