So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
