I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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