how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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