id be glad to
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
