Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize