I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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