bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
