Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
