Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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