is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
