You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize